Manic Beatnik Riffing

criteria anyone?

“Read as a Voyeur”

These thoughts of Betrayal were a Lie. I was abusive. The trust, the thought that a woman was to stay with me as a Soul Mate and take my SHIT. Of course, she left. I disintegrate. Vow to love. Vow to be a better lover. Grabbing the first Woman I could. Training her to be a Musician. Molding her Mind. Charming her. Housing her. Knowing, I would not trust. Secretly I believed Never Again would I trust a Woman: Financially, Emotionally, Sexually. []

War Buddies.

Kindred spirit. I feel like he and I are working against the clock making up for lost time. 30 years later, nothing spoken prior. We talk: have more in common, shared experiences, came to the same conclusions, dark experiences laced with darker humor, shared ideas on what it is to be reality (?) understand that we are conduits, knowing sound frequencies are conjoined with life married to death and beyond. Said all this to her, She answered, “Is Time Ever Really Lost?” []

EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

Right now I am having some difficulties with getting my new video to play. It is making me want to pull what little hair I have left on my head COMPLETELY OUT! That would at least solve the bad hair days into years problem. Ah but I digressed. I have a really cool new video that I have worked all day on.. so a few of you might have noticed the problem. It could be that , some sort of power that []

16 Tons live, (cover)

Hey, I want to give background on the song before you listen. I was walking up a steep hill yesterday, feeling bad about my music. Sighing to myself, “another day older..” Then boom, the lyric came to me. “and deeper in debt.” The tune was one I heard a lot growing up. Just as frequently as Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It is about working in a coal mine. I feel justified in singing it. My great grandfather, in probably around the []

Playing with Shadows

Playing with Shadows on the Wall. Clouds aspirate the sun, briefly. Lost wasted decades. Beginning/Finish. End/Start. Deep as an empty well. Tepid. Muddy. Scent of stagnant foul air. Distant Echoes. Light cascading down the brick walls in a semi-circle. Playing with Shadows in My Well.

Ideas for the Mind Numbed Photographer

 1. Walk down the main thoroughfare in your city, with your Zipper of your pants obviously unzipped, secretly hiding your DSLR camera, so when someone points out that your fly is unzipped, YOU FLING THE CAMERA OUT AND SHOCK THEM BY TAKING THEIR PHOTO. Now, that is Guerrilla Street Art.  2. Set up a room with great lighting, a stool, camera on tripod, take a successive 100 self-portraits. Using editing software , such as Photoshop, turn those images into Derisive Memes about []

Journal Entry (circa 1995)

      The family thinks that I’ll ‘go’ insane. I read to many biographies of Dylan. Acquaintances treat me like a defective toy that they loved when they were four years old. Rimbaud- “I was damned by a rainbow.” I think he was speaking for all defectives when he said that. Prison Shelters for youths. Asylums and correctional facilities for adults. All inmates. The outcasts. When I am sane, I’m treated like a Madman. When I am a Madman, everyone ‘knows’ []

It’s My Funeral!

Walking my 77 year old dog (in human years) thru the foggy, pre-dawn hours. Giving her relief. She is coated in the rain drenched grass, six inches high. She is slick, black, like my shiny soaked shoes. Looking down, I realize that I feel as if I am wearing ENORMOUS RED CLOWN BOOTS. We sit. I begin to laugh, “It’s my funeral! I want dancing clowns blowing horns as they lay me to rest into my grave!” I blurt, “It’s MY FUNERAL! []

Moment of Dark Humor (circa 1996)

Chicken Little was right- the sky is falling. THE SKY!!! Want to go to a Hotel? Cuz you are a roach. The restaurant business- you go in, and you NEVER GO OUT. Isn’t it neat? They blew the president’s head clean off and it fell right into the first lady’s lap. No conspiracy. Good shot. Skeet shooting by Oswald. Too bad we did not get to see Lee Harvey hanged like Mussolini and dragged thru the streets. I lie like a 5 []

Shallow Desperate Love Poem (circa 1996)

I can’t control the weather or people’s perceptions. Red in your face, flushed, embarrassed. Are you trying to give me a hint? The silent treatment, a sinking feeling, emotional baggage, weight on your shoulder. Liar. Why are you closing yourself off? Flesh fire hard mentality, Everyone needs someone to follow. She doesn’t believe a broken boy with his bent flute. Self-loathing and anger directed outward. Rage. Muttering under my breath, “I don’t know you ,but you have shifty eyes and look like []

How a Duality? (circa 1999)

There is Light and Dark. Extreme Violence and Total Peace. Love + Hate Life + Death Straight + Gay Humiliation + Pride Calm + Chaos Safe + Unsafe Create to Destroy Love to Conquer To Stand or To Run To Fight or Fright To Strive for the Positive is the Same as To Live in Darkness. Please Accept That All are Aspects of the Same Thing, and No-Thing Matters Nothing Matters Is To Become Grey.