I am an Informed Consumer
making
Irrational Purchases.
I spend $4,000 a year on gasoline
to fuel my mountain bicycle.
I am certain that my 2 year old child
has at least a ration of a quart
of 190 Proof Vodka per Day.
I care for others and  I am certain
to Fuck Them Over First and Foremost,
By All Means Necessary.
Gratefully Singin’
“God Bless Ameri-Porn! My Home Sweet…..”