Rid of Me (PJ HARVEY COVER)

Rid of Me. (lyrics, changed a bit to fit my gender) Tie yourself to me No one else No, you’re not rid of me Hmm you’re not rid of me Night and day I breathe Hot hot air Hey, you’re not rid of me Yeah, you’re not rid of me Yeah, you’re not rid of me Yeah, you’re not rid of me I beg you, my darling Don’t leave me, I’m hurting Lick her legs I’m on fire Lick her legs of []

Journal Entry (circa 1995)

      The family thinks that I’ll ‘go’ insane. I read to many biographies of Dylan. Acquaintances treat me like a defective toy that they loved when they were four years old. Rimbaud- “I was damned by a rainbow.” I think he was speaking for all defectives when he said that. Prison Shelters for youths. Asylums and correctional facilities for adults. All inmates. The outcasts. When I am sane, I’m treated like a Madman. When I am a Madman, everyone ‘knows’ []

It’s My Funeral!

Walking my 77 year old dog (in human years) thru the foggy, pre-dawn hours. Giving her relief. She is coated in the rain drenched grass, six inches high. She is slick, black, like my shiny soaked shoes. Looking down, I realize that I feel as if I am wearing ENORMOUS RED CLOWN BOOTS. We sit. I begin to laugh, “It’s my funeral! I want dancing clowns blowing horns as they lay me to rest into my grave!” I blurt, “It’s MY FUNERAL! []

Moment of Dark Humor (circa 1996)

Chicken Little was right- the sky is falling. THE SKY!!! Want to go to a Hotel? Cuz you are a roach. The restaurant business- you go in, and you NEVER GO OUT. Isn’t it neat? They blew the president’s head clean off and it fell right into the first lady’s lap. No conspiracy. Good shot. Skeet shooting by Oswald. Too bad we did not get to see Lee Harvey hanged like Mussolini and dragged thru the streets. I lie like a 5 []

Talk to a Stranger (original song)

Talk to a Stranger. (lyrics) Don’t know where to go, How to act. What I say is Too Revealing or Concealing Lies I Couldn’t Cover for if I tried. Long Calls at Night said, “Everything will be alright, Some of my thinking is not so real and I don’t know how to deal.” Talked to a stranger who was there. He said, “What happened? and Why Should I Care?” Long calls at night you told me that Everything’s alright. Ya know, my []

Resonant Sunset (new original song)

Resonant Sunset. (lyrics) You don’t belong (uh huh) and You never will (mmhmm) See? We were cursed from birth (yeah!) And that left a large hole to fill (uh huh) But, Man, Look at that Sunset! It’s beyond words to describe. Anyway, I Feel You Resonate. I Feel You Resonate. Aw FUCK IT! SCREW IT ALL TO HELL! (mmhmm?) It’s me and my fretting hand, Who cares? Who lives to tell? (uh huh) I make no sense but I can change a []

Shallow Desperate Love Poem (circa 1996)

I can’t control the weather or people’s perceptions. Red in your face, flushed, embarrassed. Are you trying to give me a hint? The silent treatment, a sinking feeling, emotional baggage, weight on your shoulder. Liar. Why are you closing yourself off? Flesh fire hard mentality, Everyone needs someone to follow. She doesn’t believe a broken boy with his bent flute. Self-loathing and anger directed outward. Rage. Muttering under my breath, “I don’t know you ,but you have shifty eyes and look like []

How a Duality? (circa 1999)

There is Light and Dark. Extreme Violence and Total Peace. Love + Hate Life + Death Straight + Gay Humiliation + Pride Calm + Chaos Safe + Unsafe Create to Destroy Love to Conquer To Stand or To Run To Fight or Fright To Strive for the Positive is the Same as To Live in Darkness. Please Accept That All are Aspects of the Same Thing, and No-Thing Matters Nothing Matters Is To Become Grey.

Midst of Confusion (circa 1999)

Looking at the negative. All so dark. Draining. Powerless Death. When you think that your best friends are your worst enemies, All that you are, is hated and attacked. There is no safety. No protection. And you may be dying. What does that mean? What does it matter if no one hears your song and no one cares? Words spat into a pit. How do I focus? I am choosing this? What does it matter if I gave up marriage or old []