There is change. There is illness. You lose everyone. You die. You can meditate but it is just a temporal escape from those facts. I lost my mother, lost my mind, lost my home.  All this I’ve had: I’ve had my youth, I’ve had wealth, I have had sanity, I have had a home. Those I have loved, passionately, romantically, erotically, have left me. I am stubborn. I do not really care of life and death , repeating itself over and over again that my atoms and spirit could keep coming back or never have passed, sustaining as skull, bones, and dust. Existence is transience.Yeah, I remember the innocence of my mind when I was a child. The creative way I played and the joy it created, the grace, the divine of an infant before the state the church, school, death, pain.  The memory and the freedom it brings is the well-spring that I can tap into anytime, just as soon as I can throw a tantrum while I am an adult, well..maybe a bit slower. I am just learning that my mind was padlocked. I had the key. Cleaned the room in there, dealt with dirt, and embraced it . I suppose that it is to say NOW I know what it means to be young in spirit but not in body. Just that fun.

Imagine to have such an important life or mind or thought, that it is passed on from generation to generation, through the centuries, in song, orally, not written.

Why do away with desire? Facing myself versus myself, my greed versus my greed, my pain versus my pain, my sexual urges versus my sexual urges, my addictions versus addictions, my hunger versus my hunger, my weariness versus my weariness AS the earth is used, plowed, despised, defiled, mined.. I suppose my home is where my feet are, usually on earth… so what happens if I am on Saturn or born under it? I cannot even remember which planet has all those rings around it, those dust storms, I loved that as a kid.

I suppose that my reality is nothing SEPARATE from, Failure to, reality is reality is now is now nowhere to go nothing to get, be attentive to what is and what is not. I am like a fish writhing in shallow water. Compassion is caring to help, touch another, who is burning on fire, and I know that touching will burn, but helping anyway.

I am ordinary. I am ordinary among ordinaries.

I am part of humanity and life.