“I Owe It To You, Eternally.” prose by ted…

I owe it to you, both, and you’re together now, eternally. When Mom died, unexpectedly, I was just a kid, less than a child. I understand your stoicism, now, Dad, why you couldn’t talk about her for decades, especially right afterwards. Her death turned you gray, pale, as if there was no blood coursing thru your veins, having many sleepless nights listening to AM radio… resting your body, not your mind… Most other men, like WHO I AM NOW, would have folded, QUIT, gotten drowned in a bottle, GONE MAD. NO! NOT YOU, who kept working, didn’t lose custody of your children (us) to foster care. You put Italian bread and M&M’s from the grocery on the table with a proud big grin on your face, didn’t get too upset when I would chug the whole new gallon of milk that just entered the fridge. You kept us and yourself together, in the moment, not the past or future, with your silence. YES, we were all traumatized and trauma bonded, BUT YOU KEPT IT TOGETHER, US TOGETHER. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND, AND AM SO PROUD OF YOU, I OWE IT TO YOU, BOTH, ETERNALLY, TO LIVE THIS LIFE WELL.